Life

Why is it Difficult to Make New Connections?

I woke up again in the wee hours of the morning, unable to get a decent night’s sleep. I desperately tried hard to fall back asleep, but restlessness became my blanket and soon my eyes were as wide eyed as my cat’s.

I rolled over and fumbled around in the dark for my phone and saw that it was only 4:03am. Another 57 mins to go before my alarm is supposed to wake me up to go to my bootcamp class at the gym. Unable to find interest in any of my apps on my phone at four in the morning, I for no other reason than boredom began scrolling through my list of phone contacts.

Alex…Chuck…Doris…Guillermo…Randy…Kristi…to name a few.

I then began to reminisce about how I know each and every one of the names on my list, whether through a friend of a friend, through work or school. It amazed me to think through all my years, these are the connections I’ve made. Most I’ve known for decades, others for just a handful of years. But these connections meant so much to me that I retained them in my database.

A friend of mine recently asked me the question, why is it feel harder to make new connections as we get older?

I thought about it for a while and concurred that other than connections we make through work, new connections are sometimes few and far between.

Thus, the conversation began with my friend Janet and my new connection Stephanie Wood, EFT Practitioner.

So why are newer connections more difficult to make?

Are we wired to stay within the confines of our own groups as we get older? Do we not allow the space for new people into our lives? Do we feel less motivated and inspired by the new people we meet?

Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.

― Theodore Twombly “Her” film

But without new connections are we limiting ourselves to change and grow? We are the architects of who we want to meet. We filter, pick and choose the new people in our lives because we know time is more precious and we choose to spend it with the ones who have established and earned their relationships with us through history and longevity.

At the end of the day, connections are a vital part of our culture. Healthy connections breed a healthier state of our mental health and a community that can wage the war against loneliness and depression.

Learn more about Stephanie’s work here and follow @japanese on Instagram for some great inspiring fitness tips.

Also be sure to catch my candid one-on-one interview on Facebook with Self Achievement Network’s very own Domenic Certa. In my interview, I open up my story on anger and abuse and talk about the 3 forms of anger. I also share insight on on how to start the dialogue to support those who struggle managing their anger.

Jason Lee Dragon
Jason Lee, Author

 

 

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